Transcript 27- Maya

"I think that like the community... the people I met in treatment were incredible. Um, and I'm still friends with some of them. Um, but it's like... making friends in a treatment setting is really kind of hard because you all recover at different rates. So like, when I was doing really well, some of my friends weren't. And like that's when you need to make the decision, do I want to keep this person in my life and potentially have it affect my recovery or do I want to cut this person out because they're bringing me down and like... I did have to... cut some people out of my life because they weren't getting better and it wasn't helping me. And that's like a really hard thing to do and it feels like betrayal on my end, like to that person."

Transcript 26- Cass

"So there was definitely this feeling that like... right, there's... there's sort of like the idea of like this like platonic man as like macho meat eater, easy to get into fights, probably does something blue collar, um, like... will bury their emotions until they die. Um, and then there's sort of like... how men actually are in practice, which is like... just them but like... colored by some of those things sometimes. Like you can't not be defined on or against that. Um, and so...you know, there... there was definitely a period of time being like, "all right, how can I like, carve out a space of masculinity for myself that like doesn't need to sort of like, make room for... for... for like these things that I don't really like... want to even kind of interact with?" Um, and like... at first it felt like a selfish thing. Like, "oh no, like I'm a man, I still need to address the ways in which men are shitty because I'm a man and men are shitty". Um, but as I sort of... as it went on, I was like, "oh no, it's not quite that simple". "

Transcript 25- Valeria

No professional fields have been really nice to women. But the sciences have been particularly cruel and I just feel like I have to do really well to prove that I deserve to be there cause if I fuck up, it's not just on me. It reflects on everyone who has a similar identity or presents similarly... Men are allowed to stand on their own and be like, “Hi, I am my own person”. Specifically white men, I should say. Whereas one woman is supposed to represent all of them. So like... in the 2016 presidential election when Hillary lost many people said, “Oh well this just proves we're not ready for a woman. We shouldn't have tried a woman because no woman can do it”. And it's just like... she is one person. You don't look at every man who's lost a presidential race and say, “Oh wow, well we could never have a man because look what happened when this one tried”.

Transcript 24- Meghan

"Um, and I think one of the things that still really angers me, especially given the current context with Kavanagh's confirmation... alcohol was used to gaslight me. Because I had had alcohol at time, you know, it was used to gaslight me to say that my memory was not accurate. He had had more to drink than I had at that point. And yet alcohol was not used to gaslight his memory, alcohol was used as his excuse. “If he hadn't been drinking, he wouldn't have assaulted me”. And it just really showed a very gendered attitude towards alcohol consumption."

Transcript 19- Helena

"So my abuser was also my rapist and so recently, especially with the “me too” movement, which I'm so excited about, I'm really glad it's being talked about. However it's being talked about so much and pretty much everywhere I look... sometimes it's hard to get away from those conversations. So there will be moments in time where... for example, unfortunately the Brett Kavanaugh case, that was the worst bout of depression that I've really, really long time."

Transcript 18- Christina

"I feel like with narratives about men...there's more… I don’t want to say it's more heroic but it's like there's more of this sympathy. It's like, “what could have brought a man down to that?” Maybe... maybe... but with women it’s like monstrous and it's... twisted and it's not romanticized in the same way. Like all these tales we get about like... sad.... and I like a lot of the stories…. like I love a lot of movies or stories that are about like the tortured man. Cause it's like sympathetic regardless of gender-- I can recognize, you know? But with women... I feel like complex female villains... who are they? Like no, they don't exist a lot of times."

Transcript 17- Charlie

"I think I still struggle with... when I do get these anxiety attacks and especially, um, it is when I'm at home, um, it's... really hard because I feel like I have grown so much as a person. I have put all of these things behind me so it's really frustrating to have to still deal with these lingering consequences that like... no longer have any connection to like, you know, my life. Like... I'll just start like crying out of nowhere. I'll be like, this is for no reason. This is just because like, my amygdala is fucked up and that’s… that's frustrating."

Transcript 16- Grace

“After I got discharged…like it was tiring. Um, because like I kind of had to tell different groups of people different levels of stuff. Um, but it was... I don't know, it always felt like I was like...reborn even though that sounds kind of cliche, but… it just felt like... I was who I was when I was like 5, like almost as if I... I was like that child part of myself before I even knew anything bad was happening. Almost as if my trauma could undo its effects.”

Transcript 15- Kim

"I like called student counseling… and I was just like, “I feel really suicidal”. And they were like, “do you have a plan?” And I was like, “no”. And then they were like, “are you stressed over midterms?” And I was like, “I guess”, and then they were like, “oh, well, is there anything you can do to like calm down?” And I was like… “I like… I feel like I’ve been like pretty depressed for a while. Like I don’t have any interest anymore”. And they were like, “that seems like a really long term problem that we can’t address right now. Um, like… is there anything you can be doing right now that might help?” And I was like, “I guess I could sleep”. And they’re like, “yes, yes, that sounds great. Go to sleep. And um, then try to get some work done”. I was like, “oh shit”."

Transcript 14- Larry

"And what that means, I think, is that suffering gets divinized in Christianity. Um, where like, “oh you too are redeeming us through your… through your pain and don't worry when you die and you're taken up to heaven, to the Kingdom of God, everything will be fine. You'll be whole and complete and fine” Fuck you. Fuck you. Like fuck that. Fuck that concept that my suffering is somehow a holy like… and that I shouldn't try to fix it because of that, like, no, we should try to fix the world actively. Like you… fundamentally should leave the world a better place than you found it. Like god, you need to do that."